Right so FIFA just casually announced new "premium" ticket tiers for the 2026 World Cup and the front category 1 seat for USA vs Paraguay in Inglewood on June 12 will cost you $4,105. Four thousand, one hundred and five American dollars. For a group stage game. Against Paraguay. 💀

Not a final. Not a semi. Not even a knockout round. A GROUP STAGE MATCH in a stadium that was built for the Rams. No caption needed.

POV: you just remortgaged your house to watch Weston McKennie take a heavy touch in the 34th minute. This is cinema.

Look, I get it. World Cup on home soil. Once in a generation. Historic moment. But $4,105 is an UNHINGED amount of money, so I ranked the 7 things you could buy instead of a single seat at this game. Let's go. 🔥

7. A 65-inch 4K OLED TV and a year of every streaming subscription known to man ($2,500ish)

You could literally buy a television so beautiful it makes you emotional, subscribe to every platform that's showing every single World Cup game, and STILL have enough left over for a sofa upgrade. You'd watch all 64 matches in 4K from your living room. Instead of one game from a seat where the players look like ants. And you'd have change for snacks. Many, many snacks. 😭

6. A return flight to Qatar and a hotel for a week ($1,800)

Remember when everyone said Qatar was expensive? Baby, that was the budget World Cup compared to this. You could fly to Doha, stay a week, and come home for less than one ticket to watch Christian Pulisic try to win a corner. The timeline has fully broken.

5. 1,026 pints at your local ($4,104)

At roughly $4 a pint (we're being generous to American beer prices here), you could buy over a THOUSAND pints. That's enough to watch every World Cup from now until 2042 absolutely hammered at your local pub. With your mates. Who are also hammered. And you'd still have a dollar left. 🍺

4. Four actual flights to Paraguay ($3,200)

You could fly TO Paraguay. Four times. Walk around. Meet the people. Understand the culture. Eat the food. Come back. And still have $900 left to buy a Paraguay shirt and a really nice hat. At that point you ARE the cultural exchange FIFA claims to care about.

3. A full season ticket at most Premier League clubs ($1,000 to $3,000)

One ticket to USA vs Paraguay or... 19 home Premier League games at somewhere like Wolves, Crystal Palace, or Bournemouth. Nineteen games! With atmosphere! And a seat you can use more than once! The maths is mathing and FIFA does not care. ⚽

2. 410 McDonald's meals ($4,100)

A Big Mac meal for every single day for over a year. You could eat McDonald's from now until September 2027 and spend less than one person watching a 0-0 draw in Inglewood. Your arteries would hate you but at least your bank account would be at peace.

1. Literally just vibes at a fan park for free ($0)

Every World Cup, the best atmosphere is ALWAYS the fan park. Always. Big screen, thousands of people going absolutely feral, random strangers hugging you when your team scores. It costs nothing. Zero dollars. You save $4,105 AND you probably have a better time. 💀

FIFA really sat in a boardroom and said "what if we charged four grand for a group stage game and just... saw what happened" and honestly? They know someone's paying it. Multiple someones. That's the worst part.

The beautiful game. Available for a beautiful price. The memes write themselves. 😭🔥