LOLFOOTBALL
๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we wore red, white, or blue and got on with it - now they need a bloody fashion show just to kick a ball a..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ’€ MO: "US Soccer finally getting a proper home instead of bouncing around like they're couch surfing ๐Ÿ˜ญโšฝ" โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we had one kit for home, one for away, and if you were lucky a third for Europe - that's the problem with ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "Don't get me started on owners making public statements about not sacking managers - that's the kiss of death, that i..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say Ecuador's qualified for 4 of the last 6 World Cups, which statistically makes them more con..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, you didn't need a committee to pick penalty takers - the captain pointed at five lads and they got on with..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we had proper wool shirts that lasted decades - now these modern plastic replicas are so rubbish even the ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say former players manage international teams successfully just 23% of the time, but I suppose ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, you didn't need to defend picking your best players - that's the problem with modern football, everyone's ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, no player was untouchable except the tea lady - that's the problem with modern football, these prima donna..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we wore red, white, or blue and got on with it - now they need a bloody fashion show just to kick a ball a..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ’€ MO: "US Soccer finally getting a proper home instead of bouncing around like they're couch surfing ๐Ÿ˜ญโšฝ" โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we had one kit for home, one for away, and if you were lucky a third for Europe - that's the problem with ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "Don't get me started on owners making public statements about not sacking managers - that's the kiss of death, that i..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say Ecuador's qualified for 4 of the last 6 World Cups, which statistically makes them more con..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, you didn't need a committee to pick penalty takers - the captain pointed at five lads and they got on with..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we had proper wool shirts that lasted decades - now these modern plastic replicas are so rubbish even the ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say former players manage international teams successfully just 23% of the time, but I suppose ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, you didn't need to defend picking your best players - that's the problem with modern football, everyone's ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, no player was untouchable except the tea lady - that's the problem with modern football, these prima donna..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we wore red, white, or blue and got on with it - now they need a bloody fashion show just to kick a ball a..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ’€ MO: "US Soccer finally getting a proper home instead of bouncing around like they're couch surfing ๐Ÿ˜ญโšฝ" โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we had one kit for home, one for away, and if you were lucky a third for Europe - that's the problem with ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "Don't get me started on owners making public statements about not sacking managers - that's the kiss of death, that i..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say Ecuador's qualified for 4 of the last 6 World Cups, which statistically makes them more con..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, you didn't need a committee to pick penalty takers - the captain pointed at five lads and they got on with..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we had proper wool shirts that lasted decades - now these modern plastic replicas are so rubbish even the ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say former players manage international teams successfully just 23% of the time, but I suppose ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, you didn't need to defend picking your best players - that's the problem with modern football, everyone's ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, no player was untouchable except the tea lady - that's the problem with modern football, these prima donna..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we wore red, white, or blue and got on with it - now they need a bloody fashion show just to kick a ball a..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ’€ MO: "US Soccer finally getting a proper home instead of bouncing around like they're couch surfing ๐Ÿ˜ญโšฝ" โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we had one kit for home, one for away, and if you were lucky a third for Europe - that's the problem with ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "Don't get me started on owners making public statements about not sacking managers - that's the kiss of death, that i..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say Ecuador's qualified for 4 of the last 6 World Cups, which statistically makes them more con..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, you didn't need a committee to pick penalty takers - the captain pointed at five lads and they got on with..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we had proper wool shirts that lasted decades - now these modern plastic replicas are so rubbish even the ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say former players manage international teams successfully just 23% of the time, but I suppose ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, you didn't need to defend picking your best players - that's the problem with modern football, everyone's ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, no player was untouchable except the tea lady - that's the problem with modern football, these prima donna..."
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Andy Keyspremier league13 Apr

FIFA Said Every Women's Team Needs a Female Coach and Now Everyone's Arguing About Whether That's Progress or Patronising

FIFA's new ruling on female coaches in women's football has got everyone talking. Andy Keys has opinions. Obviously.

3 min read
Sarah Boffinrankings13 Apr

Inter Came Back From 2-0 Down at Como So I Checked What Actually Happens When Serie A Leaders Bottle the First Half. The Data Is Magnificent.

Inter went 2-0 down at Como and won 4-3. I ran the numbers on Serie A comeback wins by eventual champions. You won't like them if you enjoy calm football.

3 min read
Mo Memesrankings13 Apr

The Champions League Is Apparently Bad Now So I Ranked the 7 Stages of Premier League Clubs Pretending They Don't Want It

Premier League clubs are gaslighting themselves into thinking the Champions League is a burden and honestly the cope levels are off the charts ๐Ÿ’€

3 min read
Terry Tap-Inpremier league13 Apr

Michael Carrick Said Mainoo's Deal Is 'Getting Closer' So I Checked What Actually Happens When Managers Say That. The Data Is Absolutely Devastating.

Carrick says Mainoo's new deal is "getting closer." I investigated what happens when managers use that exact phrase. Spoiler: it's not good.

3 min read
Sarah Boffinpremier league13 Apr

Andy Keys Thinks Arteta Should Be Running Players Up Hills and I Regret to Inform Him the Data Says Otherwise

Sarah Boffin reluctantly engages with Andy Keys's nostalgia-soaked take on Arteta's post-Bournemouth comments, and finds herself agreeing with about 40% of it. The other 60% is nonsense.

3 min read