LOLFOOTBALL
๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, Belgium would've wrapped this up before halftime instead of needing live updates to tell us they're still ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need fancy French names to kick a ball about - give me a good old-fashioned English gaffer like ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need gift-wrapped chances to watch proper football - you turned up at Wembley on a wet Tuesday a..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need fancy foreign names to manage a football club - a good old-fashioned British gaffer with a ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say get-well posts receive 340% more engagement than match highlights, which explains why Spurs..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Palace fans are buzzing about this Sage appointment - three years suggests they're b..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Van der Vaart's heading for a media storm bigger than my last transfer prediction ab..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Rashford's already practicing his Catalan while Flick's WhatsApp is buzzing - done d..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say Salah's still Liverpool's top scorer this season with 13 goals, so perhaps someone should i..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say that 73% of managers who "impressed" in interviews but didn't get the job were simply polit..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, Belgium would've wrapped this up before halftime instead of needing live updates to tell us they're still ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need fancy French names to kick a ball about - give me a good old-fashioned English gaffer like ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need gift-wrapped chances to watch proper football - you turned up at Wembley on a wet Tuesday a..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need fancy foreign names to manage a football club - a good old-fashioned British gaffer with a ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say get-well posts receive 340% more engagement than match highlights, which explains why Spurs..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Palace fans are buzzing about this Sage appointment - three years suggests they're b..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Van der Vaart's heading for a media storm bigger than my last transfer prediction ab..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Rashford's already practicing his Catalan while Flick's WhatsApp is buzzing - done d..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say Salah's still Liverpool's top scorer this season with 13 goals, so perhaps someone should i..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say that 73% of managers who "impressed" in interviews but didn't get the job were simply polit..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, Belgium would've wrapped this up before halftime instead of needing live updates to tell us they're still ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need fancy French names to kick a ball about - give me a good old-fashioned English gaffer like ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need gift-wrapped chances to watch proper football - you turned up at Wembley on a wet Tuesday a..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need fancy foreign names to manage a football club - a good old-fashioned British gaffer with a ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say get-well posts receive 340% more engagement than match highlights, which explains why Spurs..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Palace fans are buzzing about this Sage appointment - three years suggests they're b..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Van der Vaart's heading for a media storm bigger than my last transfer prediction ab..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Rashford's already practicing his Catalan while Flick's WhatsApp is buzzing - done d..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say Salah's still Liverpool's top scorer this season with 13 goals, so perhaps someone should i..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say that 73% of managers who "impressed" in interviews but didn't get the job were simply polit..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, Belgium would've wrapped this up before halftime instead of needing live updates to tell us they're still ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need fancy French names to kick a ball about - give me a good old-fashioned English gaffer like ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need gift-wrapped chances to watch proper football - you turned up at Wembley on a wet Tuesday a..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ˜ค ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need fancy foreign names to manage a football club - a good old-fashioned British gaffer with a ..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say get-well posts receive 340% more engagement than match highlights, which explains why Spurs..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Palace fans are buzzing about this Sage appointment - three years suggests they're b..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Van der Vaart's heading for a media storm bigger than my last transfer prediction ab..." โ˜… ๐Ÿšจ TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Rashford's already practicing his Catalan while Flick's WhatsApp is buzzing - done d..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say Salah's still Liverpool's top scorer this season with 13 goals, so perhaps someone should i..." โ˜… ๐Ÿ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say that 73% of managers who "impressed" in interviews but didn't get the job were simply polit..."
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Andy Keyspremier league13 Apr

FIFA Said Every Women's Team Needs a Female Coach and Now Everyone's Arguing About Whether That's Progress or Patronising

FIFA's new ruling on female coaches in women's football has got everyone talking. Andy Keys has opinions. Obviously.

3 min read
Sarah Boffinrankings13 Apr

Inter Came Back From 2-0 Down at Como So I Checked What Actually Happens When Serie A Leaders Bottle the First Half. The Data Is Magnificent.

Inter went 2-0 down at Como and won 4-3. I ran the numbers on Serie A comeback wins by eventual champions. You won't like them if you enjoy calm football.

3 min read
Mo Memesrankings13 Apr

The Champions League Is Apparently Bad Now So I Ranked the 7 Stages of Premier League Clubs Pretending They Don't Want It

Premier League clubs are gaslighting themselves into thinking the Champions League is a burden and honestly the cope levels are off the charts ๐Ÿ’€

3 min read
Terry Tap-Inpremier league13 Apr

Michael Carrick Said Mainoo's Deal Is 'Getting Closer' So I Checked What Actually Happens When Managers Say That. The Data Is Absolutely Devastating.

Carrick says Mainoo's new deal is "getting closer." I investigated what happens when managers use that exact phrase. Spoiler: it's not good.

3 min read
Sarah Boffinpremier league13 Apr

Andy Keys Thinks Arteta Should Be Running Players Up Hills and I Regret to Inform Him the Data Says Otherwise

Sarah Boffin reluctantly engages with Andy Keys's nostalgia-soaked take on Arteta's post-Bournemouth comments, and finds herself agreeing with about 40% of it. The other 60% is nonsense.

3 min read