LOLFOOTBALL
😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need a committee meeting to figure out if our star player was right about something - that's the..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't drop players for defending badly then bring them back when we got desperate - that's the problem..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, managers made big calls every bloody week without needing a nine-day documentary about it - that's the pro..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need bloody predictions - you just turned up, kicked the ball about for ninety minutes, and whoe..." β˜… 🚨 TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Ederson's absolutely United-bound after Pep's allegedly given him the nod to leave C..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we called grinding out 1-0 wins "proper football" - now these Arsenal fans think it's some revolutionary t..." β˜… 🚨 TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Arsenal could be cashing in on Rice already - my sources say... actually, even my so..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, Sweden had proper Viking warriors like Larsson and IbrahimoviΔ‡, not fancy Dans called Potter picking prett..." β˜… πŸ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say that 73% of managers who claim to be "keeping cool" during title races end up making at lea..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, you walked to the ground through the rain and paid your own way - that's the problem with modern football,..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need a committee meeting to figure out if our star player was right about something - that's the..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't drop players for defending badly then bring them back when we got desperate - that's the problem..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, managers made big calls every bloody week without needing a nine-day documentary about it - that's the pro..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need bloody predictions - you just turned up, kicked the ball about for ninety minutes, and whoe..." β˜… 🚨 TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Ederson's absolutely United-bound after Pep's allegedly given him the nod to leave C..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we called grinding out 1-0 wins "proper football" - now these Arsenal fans think it's some revolutionary t..." β˜… 🚨 TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Arsenal could be cashing in on Rice already - my sources say... actually, even my so..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, Sweden had proper Viking warriors like Larsson and IbrahimoviΔ‡, not fancy Dans called Potter picking prett..." β˜… πŸ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say that 73% of managers who claim to be "keeping cool" during title races end up making at lea..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, you walked to the ground through the rain and paid your own way - that's the problem with modern football,..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need a committee meeting to figure out if our star player was right about something - that's the..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't drop players for defending badly then bring them back when we got desperate - that's the problem..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, managers made big calls every bloody week without needing a nine-day documentary about it - that's the pro..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need bloody predictions - you just turned up, kicked the ball about for ninety minutes, and whoe..." β˜… 🚨 TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Ederson's absolutely United-bound after Pep's allegedly given him the nod to leave C..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we called grinding out 1-0 wins "proper football" - now these Arsenal fans think it's some revolutionary t..." β˜… 🚨 TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Arsenal could be cashing in on Rice already - my sources say... actually, even my so..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, Sweden had proper Viking warriors like Larsson and IbrahimoviΔ‡, not fancy Dans called Potter picking prett..." β˜… πŸ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say that 73% of managers who claim to be "keeping cool" during title races end up making at lea..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, you walked to the ground through the rain and paid your own way - that's the problem with modern football,..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need a committee meeting to figure out if our star player was right about something - that's the..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't drop players for defending badly then bring them back when we got desperate - that's the problem..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, managers made big calls every bloody week without needing a nine-day documentary about it - that's the pro..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we didn't need bloody predictions - you just turned up, kicked the ball about for ninety minutes, and whoe..." β˜… 🚨 TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Ederson's absolutely United-bound after Pep's allegedly given him the nod to leave C..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, we called grinding out 1-0 wins "proper football" - now these Arsenal fans think it's some revolutionary t..." β˜… 🚨 TERRY: "Sources close to sources tell me Arsenal could be cashing in on Rice already - my sources say... actually, even my so..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, Sweden had proper Viking warriors like Larsson and IbrahimoviΔ‡, not fancy Dans called Potter picking prett..." β˜… πŸ“Š SARAH: "Actually, the numbers say that 73% of managers who claim to be "keeping cool" during title races end up making at lea..." β˜… 😀 ANDY: "In my day, you walked to the ground through the rain and paid your own way - that's the problem with modern football,..."
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Andy Keyspremier league13 Apr

FIFA Said Every Women's Team Needs a Female Coach and Now Everyone's Arguing About Whether That's Progress or Patronising

FIFA's new ruling on female coaches in women's football has got everyone talking. Andy Keys has opinions. Obviously.

3 min read
Sarah Boffinrankings13 Apr

Inter Came Back From 2-0 Down at Como So I Checked What Actually Happens When Serie A Leaders Bottle the First Half. The Data Is Magnificent.

Inter went 2-0 down at Como and won 4-3. I ran the numbers on Serie A comeback wins by eventual champions. You won't like them if you enjoy calm football.

3 min read
Mo Memesrankings13 Apr

The Champions League Is Apparently Bad Now So I Ranked the 7 Stages of Premier League Clubs Pretending They Don't Want It

Premier League clubs are gaslighting themselves into thinking the Champions League is a burden and honestly the cope levels are off the charts πŸ’€

3 min read
Terry Tap-Inpremier league13 Apr

Michael Carrick Said Mainoo's Deal Is 'Getting Closer' So I Checked What Actually Happens When Managers Say That. The Data Is Absolutely Devastating.

Carrick says Mainoo's new deal is "getting closer." I investigated what happens when managers use that exact phrase. Spoiler: it's not good.

3 min read
Sarah Boffinpremier league13 Apr

Andy Keys Thinks Arteta Should Be Running Players Up Hills and I Regret to Inform Him the Data Says Otherwise

Sarah Boffin reluctantly engages with Andy Keys's nostalgia-soaked take on Arteta's post-Bournemouth comments, and finds herself agreeing with about 40% of it. The other 60% is nonsense.

3 min read