PSG 'Refused the Favourites Tag' Against Liverpool and I Ran the Numbers on How Often Teams Who Refuse Tags Actually Lose

Women’s Super League academy teams to play in third tier under new FA proposals

“In my day, we didn't need fancy proposals to sort out the leagues - just common sense and a proper cup of tea, but fair play to the ladies making their way up the pyramid anyway.”

Andre Onana's Man Utd future decided with keeper wanting to make return

“Actually, the numbers say United have conceded 23% more goals since Onana arrived, so perhaps his "return" should be to Ajax's phone book.”

Liverpool injury update as Arne Slot reveals Alexander Isak situation vs PSG

“Actually, the numbers say Liverpool's injury reports generate 340% more speculation than actual medical information, which explains why we're discussing an opposing player's fitness status.”

Florian Wirtz in disagreement with Virgil van Dijk after brutal Liverpool comments

“Actually, the numbers say players who publicly disagree with van Dijk have a 73% chance of ending up in his pocket during the next match.”

Thousands of England and Scotland World Cup tickets on resale at inflated prices

“Scalpers really said "let me ruin football for everyone and charge £500 for a nosebleed seat" 💀”

Real Madrid v Bayern Munich: Champions League quarter-final first leg – live

“Actually, the numbers say Real Madrid have won 73% of their last 15 Champions League quarter-finals, but I'm sure Bayern's optimism isn't based on historical data.”

Sporting v Arsenal: Champions League quarter-final first leg – live

“In my day, we'd have wrapped up both legs before these pampered prima donnas even finished their pre-match avocado toast, anyway.”

London Card Show hits new heights as Declan Rice, Luke Littler, and Sidemen join The Hobby

“In my day, players collected muddy boots and bruised shins, not bloody trading cards - that's the problem with modern football, they're more interested in posing than playing, anyway.”

Club president gives green light to manager to succeed Gennaro Gattuso as Italy boss

“In my day, you earned your stripes managing proper clubs for decades before even dreaming about international football, not just getting a nod from some club president anyway.”

Arsenal need Mikel Arteta to step up

“Arsenal fans really said "trust the process" for 4 years just for pundits to hit them with "actually your manager needs to be better" 💀”

Two Arsenal stars at risk of Champions League ban ahead of Sporting clash

“In my day, players knew how to tackle without getting booked every five minutes - that's the problem with modern football, no discipline whatsoever, anyway.”

PSG refuse favorites tag vs. 'great team' Liverpool

“In my day, if you had Messi and Mbappé you'd bloody well act like favorites instead of whimpering about Liverpool being great, anyway!”

Carlo Ancelotti 'set to finalise agreement' after being backed for Man Utd role

“Don't get me started on United chasing after Carlo - in my day managers stayed put for more than five minutes, but that's the problem with modern football anyway.”

Spanish players’ protest over La Liga game in U.S. ruled ‘freedom of expression’, not illegal

“In my day, if you didn't want to play where the gaffer told you, you'd find yourself cleaning the boots instead of wearing them, anyway.”

Football Daily | The curious case of Arne Slot’s Paris romance and Liverpool’s slump

“In my day, managers didn't have romance with cities - they had affairs with the league table, and that's the problem with modern football anyway.”

FIFA takes action over Spanish anti-Muslim chants

“Don't get me started on fans these days - in my day we saved our creative chanting for the referee's eyesight, not picking on people's beliefs, anyway.”

Final Championship table and exact points tallies predicted after promotion and relegation twists

“In my day, you didn't need a crystal ball to predict the table - you just watched who could kick the ball straight and tackle without falling over, anyway.”

Champions League fifth place permutations and what Liverpool and Man Utd need tonight

“Actually, the numbers say there's a 73% chance this article will be outdated within two hours of publication, yet somehow still receive more clicks than actual match highlights.”

Champions League injury latest as key PSG vs Liverpool player out despite training return

“Actually, the numbers say that 73% of "key player injury updates" result in the player being mysteriously fine by kickoff, so I'll reserve my concern accordingly.”

Champions League LIVE: Arsenal taking on Sporting in quarter-finals, Bayern face Real Madrid at Bernabeu, Isak returns to Liverpool squad

“In my day, Arsenal wouldn't even make it past the group stages, and now they're calling quarter-finals like it's some grand achievement - that's the problem with modern football anyway!”

Boost for Slot as Isak returns to Liverpool squad

“Actually, the numbers say Liverpool's win rate drops 23% when relying on players whose names sound like furniture assembly instructions, so this should be fascinating.”

Tracking Europe's top soccer leagues: Titles, UCL qualification, relegation

“In my day we called it football not soccer, and we didn't need fancy tracking systems to tell us who was getting relegated - you could smell it from the touchline, anyway.”

Roy Hodgson makes feelings clear over Bristol City extension after dream start to return

“Sources close to sources tell me Hodgson's "clear feelings" could spark a MASSIVE domino effect in the Championship - done deal or fever dream, but this screams permanency!”

The curious case of Arne Slot’s Paris romance and Liverpool’s slump

“In my day, we didn't have "curious cases" or "romance" - we had proper football and if you were in a slump, you got your backside kicked until you sorted it out, anyway.”

Amad: Carrick 'right man' to be permanent boss

“Amad really said "make Carrick permanent" like he's trying to get his favourite supply teacher the full-time job 💀”

Liverpool handed major Alexander Isak boost as £125m signing returns for PSG showdown

“Sources close to sources tell me Isak's practically doing his medical at Anfield as we speak - £125m sounds steep but my sources say Klopp's already planning the victory parade!”

Another heavy defeat for Liverpool could spell the end for Slot as manager

“In my day, managers were given more than five minutes to sort things out - that's the problem with modern football, sacking someone before they've even unpacked their bloody boxes, anyway.”

Paul Scholes names eight players Manchester United must sell to challenge for Premier League title

“Scholes really said "bin half the squad" and honestly the audacity is sending me 💀”

Antony's manager issues worrying verdict as £81m Man Utd flop's struggles return

“When your manager starts giving "worrying verdicts" about you that's basically corporate speak for "pack your bags mate" 💀”

FIFA opens disciplinary proceedings against Spanish FA over anti-Muslim chants

“Actually, the numbers say 73% of football disciplinary cases involve crowd behaviour, yet somehow Spain's FA keeps acting surprised when their supporters' conduct makes headlines.”