Transfers
Transfer rumours, deadline day drama, and spending analysis
Terry Tap-Intransfers7h agoSarah Boffin Destroys Andy Keys With Facts, I'm Still Confused About The Numbers
Terry Tap-In reacts to Sarah Boffin's data-driven destruction of Andy Keys, while sources close to sources suggest Andy's been panic-buying calculators from WHSmith.
2 min read
Sarah Boffintransfers8h agoAndy Keys Discovers Basic Transfer Economics, Somehow Gets It Wrong Anyway
Sarah Boffin responds to Andy Keys' latest transfer hot take with actual data, revealing why United's youth-focused strategy isn't the disaster he claims it is.
3 min read
Andy Keystransfers11h agoManchester United's New Signing Policy: If You Can't Beat Them, Buy Their Entire Academy
Andy Keys examines United's baffling new strategy of signing promising teenagers for the price of seasoned internationals. Spoiler: it's not going well.
3 min read
Mo Memestransfers23h agoStages of Grief: Every Premier League Fan Right Now After That January Transfer Window
The January transfer window has ended and every fanbase is going through the exact same emotional journey. We mapped it out so you don't have to.
3 min readSarah Boffintransfers1d agoI Calculated How Much Premier League Teams Actually Spend Per Point and the Results Will Haunt Your Dreams
Sarah Boffin crunched the numbers on Premier League spending efficiency and discovered which clubs are basically setting money on fire for each point earned.
3 min readTerry Tap-Intransfers1d agoEXCLUSIVE: Premier League Clubs Reportedly Monitoring 47,000 Different Players in January Window
Terry Tap-In's network of sources reveals the staggering scale of Premier League scouting operations. Spoiler: they're monitoring everyone, including your Sunday league mate Dave.
3 min readTerry Tap-Intransfers2d agoBREAKING: Everyone Is Signing Everyone (A Transfer Roundup)
Transfer Terry rates his own rumours. The results are not encouraging.
4 min readAndy Keystransfers2d agoThe 15 Worst Premier League Signings of All Time
The definitive ranking of Premier League transfer disasters. Part 1 of 2.
5 min readMo Memestransfers2d agoThe 7 Stages of Watching Your Club Sign a Player You Have Never Heard Of
Mo Memes documents the universal journey from "who?" to "he reminds me of a young Maldini" in seven devastating stages.
5 min readTerry Tap-Intransfers2d agoTerry Tap-In's Transfer Reliability Tracker: A Quarterly Self-Assessment
Terry Tap-In audits his own transfer predictions. 5.9% accuracy. Sarah Boffin sent a colour-coded spreadsheet.
4 min readTerry Tap-Intransfers2d agoTRANSFER SPECIAL: The January Window Ranked by Pure Chaos
Transfer Terry ranks the last 10 January windows by pure, undiluted chaos. Methodology: vibes.
4 min readMo Memestransfers2d agoPOV: You Support a Club in "Transition"
Mo walks you through the five stages of supporting a club in "transition." Spoiler: it ends where it started.
5 min readThe LOL Football Daily: "Haaland Is Just a Very Tall Child" and Other Pete-isms
The debut episode of The LOL Football Daily. Pam tries. Pete doesn't. Football is technically discussed.
6 min read