So Steven Gerrard, the man, the myth, the guy who slipped, has come out and said he told Mo Salah not to leave Liverpool "under a cloud" and that it's in "everyone's best interests" for him to go. No caption needed. 💀

Let me just process this for a second. The greatest Liverpool player of a generation is publicly telling the greatest Liverpool player of THIS generation to pack his bags. And he's framing it as caring. This is cinema.

Salah's been in a public fallout with Arne Slot. Gerrard swoops in like a football agony aunt nobody asked for. "Don't leave under a cloud, Mo." Translation: leave, but make it aesthetic. Post a nice goodbye reel with a Drake song over it. Keep it classy.

This got me thinking. Football legends giving "advice" to their old clubs is genuinely one of the most chaotic subgenres of the sport. So I ranked the 10 most savage ones. You're welcome, group chat. ⚽🔥

10. Gerrard telling Salah to leave Liverpool (2026)

Starting with the freshest wound. "Everyone's best interests" is doing so much heavy lifting in that sentence it needs a sports science team. Gerrard basically wrote Salah a reference letter for his next club IN PUBLIC. Passive aggression levels: British. 😭

9. Roy Keane telling Manchester United to sign literally anyone with a pulse (2013 onwards)

Keane has spent the last decade on punditry essentially saying every United signing is rubbish and every United player lacks character. Mate, you managed Sunderland AND Ipswich. The self-awareness left the chat years ago.

8. Gary Neville "advising" Ed Woodward from the Sky Sports studio (2018-2021)

Neville would tear into United's board on Monday Night Football and then presumably text Woodward "no hard feelings yeah?" the next morning. POV: you're Ed Woodward watching your mate publicly dismantle your transfer strategy for content. 💀

7. Thierry Henry telling Arsenal to "spend some money" (every single year)

Henry sitting in a CBS studio telling Arsenal to invest is like your rich uncle telling you to "just buy a house." Thank you, Thierry. Revolutionary insight from a man who left for Barcelona.

6. Zlatan telling everyone at every club he ever played for that they weren't on his level (ongoing)

This isn't even advice. This is just Zlatan's entire personality. He's been "advising" clubs by insulting them for two decades and somehow it keeps working. 🐐

5. Ronaldinho posting "👏👏👏" under a post about Barcelona losing (2023)

Not a word spoken. Just two clapping emojis. Violence.

4. Xavi telling Barcelona he'd come back to save them, then actually doing it, then it going horribly (2022-2024)

The ultimate "be careful what you wish for." Xavi advised himself to manage Barca. Xavi listened to Xavi. Xavi regretted listening to Xavi. The memes write themselves.

3. Diego Maradona advising Argentina from the touchline while looking like he'd just woken up in a nightclub (2010 World Cup)

Lost 4-0 to Germany. Wore a suit two sizes too small. Gave press conferences that could be classified as performance art. Legend behaviour, terrible advice. 😭

2. Pele telling every young Brazilian they'd never be as good as him (1970-2022)

Fifty years of "advice" that was really just "remember, I'm the GOAT." Pele didn't advise. Pele reminded.

1. Sir Alex Ferguson reportedly telling David Moyes "the job's easy" before handing him a ticking time bomb (2013)

The single most devastating piece of advice in football history. Fergie retired, recommended Moyes, allegedly told him the squad was fine, and then watched from the directors' box as the empire crumbled in real time. Cold. Calculated. Iconic. 🔥💀

Salah, mate, if you're reading this: just post a cryptic Instagram story and let Twitter do the rest. That's MY advice. And unlike Stevie G's, it's free.