Right. Let me get this straight.

Steven Gerrard. The man who slipped on the most important patch of grass in Premier League history. The man who left Liverpool for LA Galaxy like a bloke sneaking out the back door of a party he wasn't invited to. THAT Steven Gerrard is now advising Mohamed Salah on how to make a dignified exit from Anfield.

Don't get me started.

According to Stevie G himself, he's told Salah not to leave "under a cloud" following his dust up with Arne Slot. He says it's in "everyone's best interests" for Salah to go. And you know what, maybe he's right. But the sheer brass neck of it. The audacity. A man who couldn't manage Aston Villa without the wheels falling off is now positioning himself as some kind of football agony aunt.

In my day, if you had a falling out with your manager, you sorted it in the car park or you got on with it. You didn't need a former teammate popping up on the telly telling the whole world what advice he's been dishing out in private. That's the problem with modern football. Nothing stays between four walls anymore. Everything's a brand. Everything's a content piece. Gerrard's probably got a podcast launching next week called "Stevie G's Exit Strategy" where he helps overpaid footballers leave clubs without making a scene.

And look, I'm not having a go at Salah here. The man's been sensational for Liverpool. Absolutely sensational. One of the best players the Premier League has ever seen. Goals, assists, work rate. He's given that club everything. But the minute you start having public spats with the manager, the minute you start airing dirty laundry, you've already lost the dressing room. I've been in those dressing rooms. Lower league ones, mind you, where the showers didn't always work and the kit man was also the physio. But the principles are the same.

What bothers me is this idea that Gerrard is somehow the authority on graceful departures. This is a man who went to Rangers, won a title, looked like he'd rebuilt his reputation, and then watched it all crumble. Went to Villa and got sacked before the Christmas decorations came down. Now he's doing the rounds like some elder statesman of Liverpool Football Club dispensing wisdom like fortune cookies.

I managed Barnet for three years. You know what advice I gave players who wanted to leave? "There's the door, son. Mind the step." Simple. Effective. Nobody needed a press conference about it.

The real story here isn't Gerrard's advice. It's the fact that Liverpool have somehow let this situation get to the point where a former captain feels the need to publicly intervene. That tells you everything about the state of things at Anfield. Slot's clearly drawn a line. Salah's clearly not happy about it. And rather than sorting it internally like professionals, we've got Gerrard on ESPN playing peacemaker.

That's the problem with modern football. Everyone's got an opinion and a platform to share it on. When I fell out with my chairman at Woking, we had a screaming match in his Portakabin and then went to the pub. Sorted. Done. Nobody rang up a former manager to mediate on Sky Sports News.

If Salah wants to leave, let him leave. He's earned the right. But he doesn't need Steven Gerrard holding his hand on the way out. And Gerrard doesn't need to be telling the world about private conversations. Keep it shut. Let the man make his own decision.

In my day, legends left quietly. Now they leave with a media strategy, a farewell tour, and a former teammate doing the PR.

Football. Honestly.