Satire
-
Perfectly Lovely Sunday Ruined By Man United Winning A Trophy
What was supposed to be a perfectly lovely Sunday actually turned out to be one of the worst days...
-
Fully Grown Man Who Wanks Into Sock Claims Rooney Is “Still Shit”
An unemployed, 49-year-old man from Merseyside, who still lives with his Mum and regularly ejaculates into a crusty sock...
-
Redknapp Training Secret: “I Just Tell Them To Fucking Run Around A Bit”
He’s a man who’s made a solid name for himself in footballing circles thanks to an unbridled passion...
-
Nigerian Player Who Collapsed on Pitch “Died of Natural Causes”
A coroner responsible for carrying out on autopsy on recently deceased Nigerian footballer Jo-wooka Jo-wooka Mazungo Otabugo has...
-
FIFA To Overturn “Fat Kid Goes In Goal” Ruling
A long-standing rule in international, domestic and grass-roots football, that the fat kid must always start in goal,...
-
Jumpers for Goalposts Now ‘Vintage Smoking Jackets for Goalposts’ Thanks to New Hipster Influenced Legislation
Gone are the days of scruffy kids pulling off their grandmother’s knitted sweaters/chav tracksuit jackets to use for...
-
Toure’s Agent’s Furious Photoshop Dick Revenge
Following the recent verbal shots fired by the agent of Manchester City’s unwanted midfielder Yaya Toure, things have...
-
West Ham’s London Stadium Loses Out to Measly Attended Corbyn Rally in Decibels Reading
As if West Ham fans didn’t have enough to contend with following a defence leakier than an octogenarian’s...
-
Schweinsteiger Fails to Break Both Arms in Hope of Paralympic Action
Bastian Schweinsteiger, the former Bayern Munich midfielder, is experiencing further setbacks this evening after failing in an attempt...
-
Jose Bosingwa’s Eyebrows Key Factor in M4 Pile Up
Following catastrophic news yesterday of a six-car pile-up on Britain’s busiest motorway the M4, forensic tests have revealed...
-
Chris Smalling Wickedly Ashamed of Micropenis
Smalling by name, very smalling by nature. Reports coming out of the North of England today appear to...
-
Wannabe Porn Star “Does It” On A Cold Rainy Night in Stoke
It’s been a popular question in footballing circles but finally, as of late last night, the world has...
