Right so a brand new survey just dropped about fan concerns ahead of the 2026 World Cup in the US and I need everyone to stop what they're doing because this is cinema 💀

The findings? International fans are worried about personal safety, visas, ticket prices, and US government policies. You know, just a few minor details. Nothing that would put anyone off travelling thousands of miles to watch football in June heat. Everything is completely fine.

So in honour of every football fan who's currently staring at their bank account and their passport with equal amounts of dread, I present to you: The 7 Stages of Realising You Probably Can't Go to the World Cup, Ranked by Emotional Damage ⚽💀

7. BLISSFUL IGNORANCE (Emotional Damage: 2/10)

This was all of us in like 2022. "World Cup in America! Road trip vibes! Me and the lads in an RV across three time zones!" You were googling flights. You were looking at Airbnbs in Dallas. You had a Pinterest board. You were down bad for the American Dream. No caption needed, you were living it.

6. THE VISA REALISATION (Emotional Damage: 5/10)

Then you googled "do I need a visa for the US" and the internet said "it depends" and suddenly you're filling out a form that asks for your social media handles, your travel history for the last 15 years, and what your nan had for breakfast on 4th March 2019. POV: you just wanted to watch football and now you're being investigated like a Netflix documentary suspect 😭

5. THE TICKET PRICE DROP (Emotional Damage: 7/10)

FIFA will announce ticket categories and there'll be a "budget" option that costs more than your monthly rent. The hospitality packages will cost more than a mid-table Championship club's annual wage bill. You'll look at the numbers, close the tab, and open a streaming service instead. The memes write themselves.

4. THE POLICY PANIC (Emotional Damage: 7.5/10)

According to the survey, US government policies are genuinely putting fans off travelling. Imagine telling someone in 2018 that fans would one day be more stressed about entering the host country than about their team's group stage fixtures. And yet here we are. In 2026. Living through it. 🔥 (not the good kind of fire)

3. THE SAFETY CONVERSATION (Emotional Damage: 8/10)

"Personal safety" was literally flagged as a top concern. I'm not even going to make a joke here because when fans are genuinely worried about being safe at a football tournament, something has gone properly wrong with the whole operation. FIFA really heard "the beautiful game brings the world together" and said "yeah but what if it didn't though" 💀

2. THE BARGAINING PHASE (Emotional Damage: 9/10)

This is when you start lying to yourself. "Maybe I'll just go for one game." "Maybe if I sleep in a tent." "Maybe if I sell my entire FIFA Ultimate Team." "Maybe if I remortgage the cat." You're doing mental gymnastics that would make a Champions League VAR official proud. You're running spreadsheets at 2am. You're a broken person.

1. ACCEPTANCE (Emotional Damage: 10/10)

You're watching it on the sofa. You always were. You'll be in your pants with a Greggs sausage roll, shouting at a screen, surrounded by people who also couldn't afford to go. And honestly? The group chat will be better than any stadium atmosphere anyway 😭⚽

The survey basically confirmed what everyone already suspected: FIFA built a World Cup for brands, sponsors, and corporate hospitality. And the rest of us? We get to watch the ads about how football is "for everyone" from very, very far away.

This is cinema. Tragic, expensive, bureaucratically nightmarish cinema. 💀🐐