BREAKING (and I use that word loosely): It turns out the Championship doesn't care about your Netflix documentary.
Sources close to sources tell me that Wrexham, the club that went from the fifth tier of English football to genuine Championship playoff contenders in the space of about four seasons, have just been absolutely walloped 5-1 by Southampton at their own ground and dropped out of the top six. Five. One. At Stok Cae Ras. In front of their own fans. On a Tuesday night. When they needed points more than Ryan Reynolds needs another gin brand.
Now look. I love Wrexham. Everyone loves Wrexham. It is genuinely impossible not to love Wrexham. Two Hollywood owners, a real community club, back to back promotions, a documentary that made grown adults cry about a town in North Wales they'd never visited. It's one of the great modern football stories. But the Championship, and I cannot stress this enough, is where fairytales go to get two-footed in the shins by a centre-back called Davo who's on his third yellow card of the month.
So in honour of Wrexham's reality check, I have ranked football's greatest fairytale clubs and the exact moment the clock struck midnight. Because it always strikes midnight. Always.
7. Bournemouth (2015 era) โ Got promoted to the Premier League under Eddie Howe with a budget roughly equivalent to what Manchester City spend on matchday socks. Beautiful story. Then spent six years narrowly avoiding relegation while everyone said "aren't they lovely" and Eddie Howe slowly developed the haunted stare of a man who's seen too many 4-0 defeats at the Etihad. Midnight moment: Every single away day at a top six ground.
6. Montpellier (2012) โ Won Ligue 1. Actually won it. Olivier Giroud was banging them in for fun. The whole of France went "oh how charming." They finished ninth the following year and Giroud left for... well, you know where. Midnight moment: The exact second Giroud's agent picked up the phone.
5. Nottingham Forest (2022 to present) โ Got promoted through the playoffs in the most dramatic fashion imaginable. Spent roughly 900 million pounds on players nobody had heard of. Got points deductions. Survived anyway. It's less a fairytale and more a fever dream that refuses to end. Midnight moment: Ongoing. Perpetual. The clock is just spinning.
4. Leicester City (2016 onwards) โ Won the league. Won the actual Premier League. 5000/1. The greatest sporting story ever told. Then slowly, painfully, over six years, slid back down to the Championship while everyone involved tried desperately to pretend the magic hadn't gone. Got relegated. Came back. Got relegated AGAIN. Midnight moment: When Claudio Ranieri got sacked nine months after winning the title. The clock didn't just strike midnight, it fell off the wall.
3. AFC Wimbledon (2002 to present) โ Rose from the literal ninth tier of English football after their original club was relocated to Milton Keynes. An actual phoenix club. A genuine act of footballing defiance. Currently exist in League Two, which is both a triumph and a reminder that the universe rewards moral victories with mid-table obscurity.
2. Greece (Euro 2004) โ Won the European Championship playing football so pragmatic it made Diego Simeone look like Pep Guardiola. Then never qualified for a major tournament knockout round again. Midnight moment: approximately the final whistle of the Euro 2004 final. It was over before the confetti landed.
1. Wrexham (right now, possibly) โ 5-1. At home. Dropped out of the playoffs. The documentary cameras were presumably rolling. Somewhere, Ryan Reynolds is composing a very witty tweet about resilience while privately wondering if the Championship is just too bleak for a three-act narrative structure.
The beautiful thing is, they could still make the playoffs. They could still go up. The Championship is unhinged enough to allow it. But Tuesday night was a reminder that football doesn't care about your storyline, your subscriber count, or your ownership group's combined IMDb rating.
The Championship comes for everyone. Even the fairytales.
Terry Tap-In