Sarah Boffin's "Coronation Index" Is Brilliant, But She's Missing the One Stat That Actually Proves Cherki Deserves the Hype

PAM: Right. Sarah Boffin wrote that Semenyo calling Cherki "one of the world's best" is just another entry in a long history of premature coronations, and she built an entire database to prove it. The Coronation Index. 247 entries. Genuinely impressive work. The kind of thing that makes you feel both intellectually nourished and slightly concerned about how Sarah spends her weekends.

PETE: She's built a spreadsheet to ruin joy. That's what's happened here. Cherki absolutely dismantled Liverpool and instead of celebrating, Sarah's opened Excel and started typing with fury.

PAM: Except here's the thing, Pete. I've gone through the methodology. I've looked at comparable data sets. And I think Sarah's accidentally buried the lede in her own research. Because if you isolate the subset of players who received a "coronation" declaration specifically after a domestic cup knockout performance against a top-four side, the survival rate of that hype is dramatically higher than her overall figure suggests.

PETE: I understood about 40% of that sentence but I'm choosing to believe it means Cherki is class.

PAM: It sort of does, actually. Since 2018, across Europe's top five leagues, there have been roughly 31 instances where a player was crowned "world class" after a knockout cup performance against elite opposition. Of those 31, nearly half were still being described in elevated terms six months later. That's a 48% retention rate, compared to the much lower figure Sarah's overall index produces. Context matters. Beating Liverpool in an FA Cup quarter-final is not the same as scoring a nice goal against Burnley in January.

PETE: So what you're saying is Semenyo is basically a football scout now and Sarah owes him an apology.

PAM: I'm saying the Coronation Index is a blunt instrument when applied without filtering for opponent quality, competition stage, and the nature of the performance. Cherki didn't just "have a nice afternoon." He completed 7 dribbles, created 4 chances, and recorded the highest progressive carries figure by any City player in a single match this season. Those underlying numbers are not the profile of a one-off merchant.

PETE: He made Van Dijk look like he was running through custard, Pam. That's not a stat. That's a vibe. And vibes don't lie.

PAM: Vibes absolutely lie, Pete. Vibes are the least reliable data source in football. But in this case, the vibes and the numbers are actually pointing in the same direction. Cherki's expected threat output over his last ten Premier League appearances already places him in the 94th percentile among attacking midfielders in Europe. Sarah's piece is entertaining and the Coronation Index is a genuinely fun concept. But she's applied a population-level finding to an individual case that sits well outside the normal distribution.

PETE: I've never fancied someone's brain more than I fancy yours right now.

PAM: Please don't.

PETE: The point is, Semenyo was right, Sarah was wrong, and Cherki is the best player in the league. I don't need a spreadsheet. I have eyes.

PAM: And I have a spreadsheet that agrees with your eyes, which is frankly the most unsettling development of my entire career. Cherki is genuinely operating at an elite level. Semenyo's praise was not premature. It was, statistically speaking, appropriately timed. Which is the least romantic way I could possibly phrase that.

PETE: Cherki is Zidane. Print it. Laminate it. Stick it on the fridge.

PAM: He is not Zidane. But he might be very, very good. And that should be enough.