Right, let me get this straight. Romelu Lukaku, a professional footballer earning more in a week than most people see in a decade, has simply decided not to turn up to training. Not injured. Not family emergency. Just... didn't fancy it. I've seen some things in my twenty years managing in the lower leagues, but even my laziest striker in Crewe would at least text me with some excuse about his nan's funeral.

And this is Napoli we're talking about. Proper club. Won Serie A not too long ago. Champions League regulars. The sort of place where you turn up because it's, I don't know, your job? In my day, if you missed training without permission, you'd be cleaning the boots until your hands bled. Now apparently you just disappear like some sort of football Houdini and wait for the disciplinary committee to send you a strongly worded letter.

The lad's 31 years old. Thirty-one! He's not some teenager who's forgotten where he parked his bike. He's a grown man who's played for Chelsea, Inter Milan, Manchester United, and now Napoli. You'd think somewhere along the way, someone might have mentioned that training is quite important for, oh I don't know, staying fit and learning the tactics?

But that's the problem with modern football, isn't it? Too much money, not enough accountability. When I was managing, if one of my players went missing, I'd have the whole squad out looking for him. Probably find him in the bookies or the chippy. These days, they probably just check his Instagram story to see if he's posted from the Maldives.

What's Napoli supposed to do now? Send out a search party? Put his face on milk cartons? 'Have you seen this Belgian? Last spotted near a football pitch, may be carrying a suspicious amount of hair gel.' The man's six foot three and built like a brick shithouse. It's not like he's going to blend into a crowd at the local market.

And the excuses they'll come up with! 'Personal reasons.' 'Family matters.' 'Needed time to reflect.' Reflect on what? How to kick a ball into a net? It's not quantum physics, son. You run, you pass, you score goals. The same thing people have been doing since before VAR ruined everything.

I guarantee you, in the old days, this wouldn't have happened. Players had respect. They turned up, they worked hard, they didn't disappear like they're in some sort of football witness protection programme. Roy Keane would have dragged him to training by his ears.

Mark my words, this'll all blow over in a week. Lukaku will give some tearful interview about 'learning from mistakes' and 'being committed to the project.' Napoli will fine him about 0.2% of his weekly wages. Everyone will move on. And somewhere, a Sunday league manager will be explaining to his striker why turning up is actually quite important. ...anyway.