Right. Strap in. I've had a very busy morning. My phone has been going off non-stop. Admittedly, most of that was my mum asking if I'm eating properly, but between those messages, some VERY interesting transfer intelligence has come my way.

Let's get straight into it.

The Big One: Mbappé (Again)

Sources tell me that Kylian Mbappé is "not entirely happy" at Real Madrid. Now, before you get excited, my sources for this are: one French football podcast I half-listened to in the shower, a tweet with 43 likes, and a general feeling I have in my gut. Reliability rating: 3/10. But my gut has been right before. Once. In 2019. About a League Two left-back.

The English One: Premier League Club "Interested" in Bundesliga Midfielder

A Premier League club, which I am not at liberty to name (because I genuinely don't know which one), is "monitoring" a Bundesliga midfielder. The word "monitoring" in transfer journalism means "someone at the club has watched a YouTube compilation." Done deal? Absolutely not. Fever dream? Getting warmer.

The Unhinged One: Swap Deal Involving Three Clubs and a Sell-On Clause

I'm hearing whispers of a three-way swap deal involving clubs in England, Spain, and Italy. I cannot tell you the players because the details are "fluid," which is transfer journalist code for "I have no details." What I can tell you is that if this goes through, it would be the most complicated transfer since that time Alexis Sánchez and Henrikh Mkhitaryan swapped clubs and neither of them wanted to be where they ended up.

The Reliable One: Championship Club Signs Backup Goalkeeper

Done deal. Confirmed. Medical passed. Photos with the scarf and everything. A Championship club has signed a 28-year-old goalkeeper from a League One side for an undisclosed fee believed to be in the region of "not very much." I know this doesn't get the blood pumping like an Mbappé rumour, but this is the only transfer in today's roundup that I'm more than 50% confident is real. So let's celebrate it.

Terry's Reliability Self-Assessment

Overall confidence in today's rumours: 2.8/10. Sarah will probably point out that my historical accuracy rate is 0.3% and she would be correct. But you know what? Deadline day is coming. And on deadline day, everyone's sources suddenly become very talkative. Watch this space.

Here we go! (Sorry, Fabrizio.)