Ranieri Fuming, Shaken and Stirred Due to Sunderland Signing

 7 years, 10 months ago 0 Comments


Reports coming out of King Power Stadium tonight suggest that Premier League winning manager Claudio Ranieri is absolutely fuming following Sunderland’s late window steal of a key Leicester City transfer target.

Said to have earmarked the signing late last summer, in a pre-season scouting trip in France, it was only due to lack of funds and the expectation that he’d soon get sacked that the Italian manager couldn’t make the purchase at the start of his club’s championship winning season.

Asked to comment about the player in question, a Gabonese youth prospect who impressed at Ligue 1 club Lorient last season, Ranieri was seemingly stuck in a Tourettes-induced frenzy, shaking his fists and rolling around on the floor.

According to club sources, the manager has taken to screaming at all who come in contact, shouting in their faces; “dilly ding Didier Ndong, dillllyyy dingggg Didier Ndong, DILLLYYYY DINNGGGG DIDDIIEERRR FUCCCKIIINGGGG NDONGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Leicester’s DIY and hardware stores have reported an upsurge in sales surrounding sound-proofing equipment, city seismologists warn of potential earthquakes and N’Golo Kante thanks his lucky stars he got the fuck out of the way in time.

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