‘Too Much Sex’ Ruining Ghanian Football

 7 years, 8 months ago 0 Comments

Ghanian ex-player and manager Malik Jabrir has finally figured out why Ghanian football isn’t progressing at the speed that many had hoped for… too much pussy. That’s right, over active libido’s and an ocean of Ghanian clunge is the reason that the young stars aren’t pushing on with their careers.


Speaking to the media, Jabrir noted:

“A lot of today’s players cannot play 90 minutes because they get so tired easily,”

“And you know why? Because they don’t sleep enough and don’t train enough and they engage in too much sex.

“There are beautiful young girls in Ghana and they won’t leave them alone.”

“There is time for sex and time for football, but if you mix the two you will never reach the top.”

Clearly the Ghanian hasn’t studied the life of king of the shaggers, George Best! The idea that pussy is the enemy of budding young talent has been tossed around before, Berti Vogts stopped his German players from fucking during the 1990 World Cup. There is no scientific link to this but if you ask us, things don’t get better than hitting the pitch after a good session in the sack, what’s wrong with combining two of your favourite things!

Keep on fucking Ghana, the only consequences you should be worried about are STI’s not the amount of assists you create. If you end up contracting an STI make sure you get STD treatment ASAP.

sign up for email updates

Subscribe to our mailing list and get updates straight to your email inbox.



You must be logged in to post a comment Login