Messi Split in Two by Vandals

It’s fair to say that Leo Messi is having the best time of it right now, personally he’s still killing and displayed his insane talent once again last week with a beautiful free kick in the last minute to earn his Barcelona side a draw against Villareal. Barcelona however are not faring so well and their worst start to a La Liga season since 2005/6 sees them sitting 5 points behind Real Madrid who have a game in hand.

Messi and co caught further attention this week after abandoning the FIFA awards in favor of planning for their upcoming Copa del Rey game with Athletic Bilbao. Their snubbing of the awards where Real star Cristiano Ronaldo was given the best player award has courted much criticism with Maradona saying that he was ‘disappointed’ in his pint-sized compatriot’s decision to stay away.

Just when things couldn’t get much worse for Leo he has woken up today to discover that the statue of him that was erected in Buenos Aires after his retirement from international football, had been viciously vandalised. There was no rival shirt placed on the statue nor a daubing of giant penis, this is Argentina we’re talking about here and the villains decided that a better course of action would be to slice the entire thing in half.

The statue, now of just Leo’s legs, is now in urgent need of repair, the perpetrators have not been caught although in all honesty they can’t be difficult to find, lugging around a huge piece of bronze with Messi’s torso and face attached.

Whether or not Messi is likely to give a shit about his statue or the criticism that is being leveled at him for missing the awards is yet to be seen but with a reputation as one of the greatest to have ever touched a ball, a monster salary, a stunning wife and a dog that looks like it could savage most bears, we rather doubt it.

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