Luke Shaw Admits To Being On “Verge Of Suicide” On £70, 000 For Doing F**k All

 7 years, 9 months ago 1 Comment


Manchester United full back Luke Shaw is garnering sympathy all around the world today after speaking to the press about the recent turmoil he had to face living on the mere salary of just £70,000 a week during his injury exodus.

The former Southampton fatty spoke candidly about the “dark” places he has gone to after his injury forced him to watch Narcos on Netflix all day and ordering Dominos, all whilst making a paltry 70 g’s every week before boot deals.

I’ve been to hell and back, it’s sickening but people seem to be more interested in asinine things nowadays like female genital mutilation and abject poverty, or war and shit. What I went through I’m unsure how anyone would be able to cope in these circumstances. Every day was a struggle”, the player told a Guardian reporter.

According to the interview, published in the newspaper’s weekend edition, the player in question also reports having considered suicide given the desperation of his plight.

I was on the verge of suicide. It was horrendous living on such limited means, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone”, added the player.

The clearly broken former Southampton player reported hitting an ultimate low after being told he’d only be able to expand his property portfolio by ten houses rather than the twenty of some of his contemporaries.

Charities all across the country have mobilised themselves in hope of easing the situation, setting up a fund and promoting it on social media via the hashtag #footballerslivesmatter. Even terrorist unit ISIS called a temporary cease fire in respect and Shaw has been flocked with letters of support from Syrian refugees.

In response to the situation would like to remind our readers that footballers are people too.

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  1. Pingback: Luke Shaw's Brother Destroys Mourinho and Man United | LOL Football

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