Zarate Sacked After Getting Dick Out for Harambe

 7 years, 7 months ago 0 Comments


Shocking reports coming out of Spain today as news emerged that third division player Eric Zarate, fresh from signing for Catalonian-based Lleida Esportiu last month, has been sacked for paying homage to a recently deceased gorilla.

Initially reports claimed that the dismissal was down to some rather obscene social media updates the player made in 2012, concerning topics of sexism, racism and politics before the club finally cleared up the matter today.

According to eye-witnesses the 21-year-old Zarate, in a bid to make up for comments he made about F1 driver Lewis Hamilton being “a black sh*t”, left to get up from a press conference after pulling his penis out and shouting “this one’s for Harambe.”

Club officials, however, have failed to unite themselves to a cause which has recently been setting the world alight.

“Zarate’s gesture was “ill-fitting” with the overall theme and not really what Harambe would have wanted”, said one club representative.

“We’ve had no choice in light of the incident but to let Zarate go”, said the club’s president, marking the first time in football history a player has been dismissed for actually getting his dick out for Harambe.

Ironically Harambe, a gorilla that was shot dead at Cincinnati Zoo last month following a 3-year-old falling into his enclosure, was stated not to have been a huge football fan.

“He certainly wasn’t aware of lower league Spanish football”, said his former minder.

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