UK Fights Islamic Terrorism By…Taking Convict To Stoke Game

 6 years, 10 months ago 0 Comments

Stoke – you’ve possibly never been there. You more than likely don’t want to go there, and if you’re from there – you probably wish that you weren’t. The City doesn’t exactly paint the greatest of ‘wish you were here’ postcard options, but at least it does have one thing going for it and that is the fact that it boasts the bragging rights of having a Premier League football team.

One that is now being used to lure convicted terrorists to change sides (not at half time) and join MI5. Now when it comes to the allure of the English top flight you immediately think of such arenas as Old Trafford, Anfield and The Emirates.

You don’t really think of the Bet365 Stadium.

But some of the best brains in the UK are obviously earning their money at Thames House as they thought of the genius idea of using Stoke games in a bid to turn the tide against terrorism in this country.

One that not unsurprisingly did not work. The revelation came to light in a court case when Mohibur Rahman revealed he had been taken to the VIP section of the Premier League club’s Britannia Stadium by two agents who tried to persuade him to act as an informant against hate preacher Anjem Choudary.

Now we all know that the Premier League is one of, if not the best league in the world and that in itself is a powerful tool especially when it comes to international tourism so perhaps that is where MI5 went wrong and confused tourism for the word terrorism.

Surely being duped into watching Stoke vs Burnley should go against the ethics of the Geneva Convention? A kind of football-based Guantanamo Bay, where by people who have plotted acts of terror against the UK have to then watch Joe Allen’s ‘tekkers’ as a deterrent to not do so again.

Really when you think about it, if MI5 were trying to convince this man to come away from the dark side of terror then it would have not made more sense to go to something like the Manchester or North London Derby, a real spectacle – not Ryan Shawcross launching another ball aimlessly upfield to Crouchy – which would make the most pacifist of individuals go a little mental.

Without question the people at MI5 have undoubtedly foiled many a terror plot although this time around it seems as if they were foiled, I guess it turns out they could not do it on a cold, rainy night in…oh f**k off, you were thinking it too.

Related Post: Wannabe Porn Star “Does It” On A Cold Rainy Night in Stoke

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